Carl Roger’s stated “What is most personal is most universal.” Trusting this, I would like to share a bit of my grandma. My grandma was a proper, intelligent, caring woman who worked as a nurse and deeply loved her family. Our close relationship can be summed up in the conversation we had when she treated 16 year old me to a special breakfast. It was there my grandma looked me in the eyes and said she was proud of me. With a tear and a warm heart, I knew my grandma loved me deeply. Her death a few months later shook my world. It was my first experience with death and the whirlwind of grief. I was relieved she wasn’t in pain, yet felt guilty that I felt relieved. My beliefs were questioned – Where did she go? Does she still hear me when I talk? I really missed her and didn’t know what to do with that longing. Today I still think of my grandma when I taste rainbow sherbet, hear a chiming grandfather clock, or sit at a dinner table and watch my kids interact with their grandparents. Around this time of the year I pull out my grandma’s apple muffin recipe. It is the kind of recipe that takes time – time to shop for ingredients not typically in my home, time to cut up small apple pieces, and time to carefully measure and mix wet and dry ingredients. When I make these muffins, I somehow feel closer to my grandma, and when I share the muffins with my family, I feel like I am sharing her with them.
Healing in the Connection
When I was sixteen I didn’t know what to do with my grief or longing for my grandma. Today in my own life and in the lived experience of many that I serve at Unity, I see the healing found in making treasured recipes, sharing memories, and gathering with others. As we live into life without our loved ones, there is comfort and healing in these continued connections as they bring her memories closer and provide the strength to continue on.
Those we hold closest in our hearts never truly leave us. They live on in the kindness they shared and the LOVE they brought into our lives.
– Author Unknown
If you are looking for additional information about grief, Unity has several resources available on our website for supporting children and adults through grief. Or you can also call into the Unity office for additional support.
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